I have a teensy-weensy confession.
It won’t be news for any of my siblings or friends that know me well.
Seeing as how I was the 11 year old girl who came home from a sleepover at my friend’s house growing up because I was scared and homesick.
My friend lived less than half a mile from my house.
Really???
I’m also the girl that cried almost every day at summer camp because I missed my mom.
Go ahead and say it.
I already know the truth.
I’m a baby.
I wish I could say that I’m better now, but I’m totally not.
I get homesick.
A lot.
Still.
Homesick for my parents in Texas.
Homesick for a Sunday meal with my husband, parents, and siblings.
Homesick for a leisurely day spent with my mom and sisters shopping and going to lunch.
You would think, that being 27 years old, I would have learned to live without parents.
And in some ways, I have.
I have a job, I can pay bills, and I can function on a day-to-day basis without needing my parents.
But in other ways, not so much.
God has truly blessed me with parents who love me and have created a legacy of faith that runs throughout our family.
The older I get, the more I value their thoughts, wisdom, guidance, and memories.
And the older I get, the more I miss living close to them.
I often wonder what God’s purpose is in having me live so far from my parents.
Is it to teach me to be more dependent upon Him to meet my needs?
Is it to teach me to “leave and cleave” and draw near to Doug as we learn to function as a married couple?
Is it to help me appreciate my relationship more?
Whatever the reason, I can say that I’ve learned to adjust to it.
I still don’t like how it has to be.
But I’ve adjusted.
I’ve drawn hope from a verse in Joel that my mom shared with me once.
Joel 2:25b
“I will restore to you the years the locusts have eaten…”
You might be wondering what locusts have to do with any of this.
Essentially, this verse is saying that God will make up for any loss (or perceived loss) of time, experiences, or relationships. (loose interpretation by me- Bible scholars, please don’t come after me). 
Wesley’s Bible commentator states that restore means to “make up for”.
I take this to mean that God will make up for our losses.
Of course, my finite human mind wants to question God.
When, God?
How, God?
How are you going to make up for 10 years of living away from my parents?
How are you going to make up for so many missed experiences?
Why do you have to make up for the lost years later? Why couldn’t you just grant us the ability to live closer? Then, you don’t have to make up for anything.
As if He really needs my help, ideas, and suggestions.
As I was reflecting on all of this, it seems to me that it can apply to a lot of situations.
Why God?
Maybe it’s different questions than mine,
Questions like,
Why did I miss out on those years with the person that I knew who died too young?
Why did I miss out on the years of a happy marriage?
Why did I miss out on the experience of parenting?
Why did I waste all that time and money on frivilous things?
Why did I spend so much time and energy in a relationship that I now regret?
Why, God?
I can’t answer any of those questions for myself or for you.
And I don’t expect God to answer them either.
He doesn’t owe us any explanations.
But if we believe in Him and his faithfulness, then we do owe him the ability to trust that His ways are true and right, even when they don’t make sense.
“Oh the depths of the riches of both the wisdom and knowledge of God. How unsearchable are His judgements and unfathomable are His ways. For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who became His counselor. Or who has first given to Him that it might be paid back to him again. For from him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory and honor forever and ever”.
Romans 11:33 – 36
Deep thoughts for a Tuesday night.
I hope that your brain doesn’t hurt like mine does.
Praying that God helps grant you peace in the knowledge that He will restore and rebuild any loss of time, experiences, or relationships.
I don’t know how.
I don’t know when.
But I know that He will.
Enjoy the sunshine,
Couldn’t resist sharing a quick pic of me and my parents… 
